Last Updated on February 3, 2025 by Angel Melanson
“Backyard wrestling, Satanism, and a little Saw thrown in” is a good enough pitch to get me in the door and, by and large, Dark Match kept me there. This grimy, low budget film will never be accused of being too original, but it’s not dull, thanks to a swift pace and some good performances. And writing this review will give me a chance to share with you my funny Rey Mysterio story at the end.
Dark Match is set in the 1980s, which means lots of VHS sheen, high contrast lighting and plenty of spandex. Our hero is “Miss Behave” (real name Nick) played sympathetically by Ayisha Issa, an alumni of several SyFy shows and a two-time International Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Federation champ. Nick is a “heel” in a low rent wrestling outfit, and annoyed that this means she’s ultimately doomed never to come out on top. It is implied that racism plays a hand in why she’s scripted to lose matches to the girl-next-door-styled “Kate the Great” (Sara Canning), but the sleazy promoter Rusty (Jonathan Cherry) isn’t listening to any of her concerns. In addition to work woes, she’s in the middle of a rocky relationship with a fellow heel, Mean Joe Lean (Steven Ogg), a decent guy stuck reliving his glory years and cursing what could have been. Oh, and she also sometimes has visions, or something, that send her into a bit of a trance.
One of these visions comes during a fight, and she goes a little nuts and beats the crap out of Kate. (She’s not BFFs with Kate, but doesn’t exactly want to hurt her.) Before anyone can dwell on this, though, Rusty comes through with news. Someone with deep pockets has hired the gang for a private tournament, so everyone loads up in the van and heads to “wow, where is this place?” country.
Next thing you know the wrestlers are being feted by some very enthusiastic cultish people at what looks like an enormous dormitory or old school or ranch compound. It’s a cool location, made it even more ominous because I couldn’t quite pin down what it was in reality.
The music is playing (“Shout it out Loud” by KISS, specifically—the license to which was likely the most expensive thing in this movie) and drinks and joints are passed. But the liquor is spiked and the weed is dusted because our wrestlers find themselves having hazy hallucinations. Sexy women come to bed down the gentlemen of the group, and some of these guys look like they haven’t had a bath in a while. Rusty gets branded with a spooky insignia and everyone blacks out.
Next thing you know the tournament has begun. Our heels, which also include a Sunday School-attired duo called Thick and Thin (one is large, one is slim) and a silent luchador named Enigma, are sent to a locked, cement green room. They don’t know, at first, that these fights are to the death! Nor do they know that they all have a schtick to them. The first one is a “Wind Match” which means there is a giant metal fan under the ring. Writer-director Lowell Dean (WolfCop) knows what he’s doing; he’s reserved the “Water Match” for the ladies.
Who is behind this mayhem? Why it’s real life wrestling superstar Chris Jericho, who is also the man who haunts Mean Joe Lean’s memories. Why has he created a demon-worshipping cult centered on a complex and bloody wrestling program? Well, listen, I don’t think anyone could answer such a question, even if they wanted to. Sometimes things just happen. The point is that Nick is quick to realize that something doesn’t pass the sniff test, and she’s the one that’s going to lead the escape. And she’ll do it in the most ass-kicking way possible!
When the movie gets into gear it cuts between vicious action in the ring and Green Room-like antics backstage. There’s stabbing, shooting, grunting, elaborate kicks and a dude who flails around on fire. Also the song “Word Up” by Cameo is deployed—probably the second-most expensive item in the budget.
Most of Dark Match is by-the-numbers, but, as my light tone suggests, it’s all quite agreeable. Then, at the very end, something truly bonkers goes down that had me pumping my fist. It’s the relatively low-stakes movies like this that, once the bases are covered, has the freedom to roll the dice and go insane. I can’t imagine anyone unhappy with how this thing concludes.
Now my funny story. Dark Match’s Enigma is possibly inspired by the WWE’s Rey Mysterio, a wrestler in the Mexican tradition that always keeps his mask on. Over a decade ago I was a guest at a film festival, and he was there, too. We were in public together, where he was super cool, and we were also together in private. And he still kept his mask on. Like, we were having dinner, and he was only allowed to lift up the mask a tiny bit to put food in, then pull it back down. This was part of his contract. If he was around people who knew that he was Rey Mysterio, then he had to maintain the mystery. I guess deals with the devil are more common than we think.
